It doesn’t look anything like what you think it looks like.

That picture above is my wife, my oldest daughter and my youngest daughter. It was taken about 25 years ago.

I met her one evening because I accepted an invitation to have a beer with my best friend and his girlfriend. The women had been roommates in college and my friend’s girlfriend thought we might just hit it off.

The moment I walked into the room, I just KNEW. I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend. Most of my friends thought I was gay because I didn’t date and as…

I believe you (and Yael Wolf). But it just seems to me that I've never met your kind of woman on a dating app. Everyone I met seemed to be looking for a long term, committed relationship and expected that to be in something approaching what is considered traditional. Even when they talked like they wanted a non-traditional relationship, eventually it appeared that they couldn't quite imagine how that could work and things eventually got rather uncomfortable.

Then again, I never NEEDED a woman either. To cook, or clean or even raise the kids (I did all that myself both…

To grant you this opportunity to relax.

Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

Reflections bring insight. At the end of a singularly significant year, we should all be gazing into the depths with a particularly inward focus. What exactly have we learned from what has transpired? How have the past nine months transformed what we thought was the truth? Is it really the truth? Or has everything changed?

I’m a hermit. That’s my essential nature. Maybe being born in the sign of the crab isn’t as strange as I’d always thought it seemed to be. This past year has revealed, more than anything, that I need…

A way out of the darkness

Photo by Simon Berger on Unsplash

My most disastrous intimate relationship was with a woman who had been diagnosed with depression. When she was feeling particularly down, she would text me; “Tell me a story”, or even say it out loud if we happened to be physically together at the time. I was always at a loss for the words and never really understood her request. Until this morning.

I’ve been slogging through the last quarter of 2020 as a turtle might crawl across a mud flat. Most days I float along a little and can make some forward motion…

And other enlightenment from an historic election

Photo by Anneliese Phillips on Unsplash

I’m very nearly jumping up and down that a woman finally made it onto a winning ticket in the US presidential election. It took way too long. We’ve been shooting ourselves in the foot for centuries by excluding half the population. And that’s when we only count white people. When we expand our blinders, we see we’ve lopped off another third. And when the the math is mostly complete, we’ve excluded over two thirds of our population from most of the important decision making that takes place on the national stage. It’s been…

This doesn’t look good on you

Photo by Jose M. on Unsplash

I’m a middle aged white man in America. I’ve done just fine. Under Republican administrations. Under Democrat administrations. Under white Presidents and under the only black President in history. Let’s be frank, with all the privilege I hold, if I weren’t doing well I’d be a complete failure. So, tell me, what the fuck are you afraid of? Being exposed for not being able to pull your own weight with all the advantages you already have?

I think you’re scared. That you might actually have to compete in a world that doesn’t give you…

Rethinking fifty-six years of being the “nice guy”

Photo by Daniel Herron on Unsplash

I can already hear all the backlash. “Don’t you DARE. Who the fuck do you think you are?” And I get it. You’ve had quite enough of guys who treat you like shit. Guys who think they can do no wrong.

I’m most assuredly NOT one of those guys.

I never have been.

When the shit hits the fan, I’m ALWAYS the first to apologize. In fact, in my relationships, I’m mostly the ONLY one who apologizes. It has ever been thus. And those days are over.

I loved my wife. Like…

I woke up with a little bit of a hangover

Photo by Andy Brazil on Unsplash

That seems to happen way more often in these days of Covid, economic and civilizational collapse. Whatever, I still remember a very poignant dream.

I was some sort of middle-eastern/Indian spiritual leader. And in this dream I was telling my followers that we were all one. It wasn’t just a new age aphorism. I was explaining in exacting detail how, the life you lead now is a direct path to the life you will lead in the next incarnation. Karma is not only real, but it is the judge, jury…

Actually requires him to win reelection

Bear with me here.

The only way we’re going to get anywhere, politically, in the next four years is by flipping the Senate. The Democrats are likely to hold the House but the Senate is still a challenge. And everything hinges on overcoming that challenge. If McConnell remains majority leader, democracy continues its slow inexorable march to the gallows. And a Biden presidency won’t change that in any significant way.

But there is an alternative.

If the Democrats can flip the Senate the answer to Donald J. Trump lies in treating the President exactly…

I wouldn’t be half the man I’ve become

Today is our 30th wedding anniversary.

It seems a bit strange to write that, since you’ve been dead for over ten years. But, just because death separates us, doesn’t mean I’m not married anymore. Or not still deeply in love with you.

Yeah sure, I’ve tried to move on. I’ve even fallen in love a couple times and skipped down the path towards something new and potentially wonderful. But I keep tripping on the rocks and ruts of my history. Of what we had.

No, it wasn’t perfect. But neither is a favorite sweater, or the gloves that fit like…

Dick Millet

father, motorcyclist, old retired guy who’s just a little lost on a blue marble corkscrewing its way to oblivion

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