Forgiveness is not just a word

It’s the realization that none us are perfect.

I’ve always been baffled by people that cut others completely out of their lives. As if excising a tumor. Set aside the absolutely toxic people or the blatant abusers. Just because someone breaks your heart doesn’t mean they had malicious intent. Maybe they just felt like they were wasting your time. You wanted more than they were willing or able to offer. Most of us have been in one or more relationships where that’s the case. But, in my experience, it’s the rare person who goes to the extent of actively destroying any connection that ever existed.

I’ve seen families completely torn apart by such actions. Could be as simple as the wording on a will that left more money to one sister or another. Or a mother who plays the affections of one son against another to such an extent that they go fifteen years without speaking. Or, in the case of my last girlfriend, anyone she had ever loved. Yea, multiple lovers, her mother, and in the end, me. I guess it should have been a red flag.

It’s a profoundly hostile action. And I think it’s deeply rooted in one’s psyche. It has become, to me, a huge warning sign. This person is incapable of a healthy relationship. If you get close, sooner or later, you will be the one cut out of their life. And it’s probably for the best. But dammit, I don’t like to see broken people stay broken. And healthy relationships are the very therapy broken people need.

I’m deeply sorry I couldn’t love her the way she needed to be loved but I can’t say that I’m sorry it’s over either. I hope she finds her way to a better place.