I believe you (and Yael Wolf). But it just seems to me that I've never met your kind of woman on a dating app. Everyone I met seemed to be looking for a long term, committed relationship and expected that to be in something approaching what is considered traditional. Even when they talked like they wanted a non-traditional relationship, eventually it appeared that they couldn't quite imagine how that could work and things eventually got rather uncomfortable.

Then again, I never NEEDED a woman either. To cook, or clean or even raise the kids (I did all that myself both before and after my wife died). My wife never needed me either, until she got sick. We both believed it was unreasonable to expect that sort of thing from anyone in any kind of relationship. That's called respect. And appears to be in short supply in a lot of relationships (and yes, men are way more guilty of such poor behavior).

Now, although I very much enjoy the company of women, I really can't imagine living long term with anyone. Familiarity breeds contempt (or something like that). I don't want to be in such close quarters with anyone that we come to resent each other.

'Course I quit dating apps after just a couple months. It just seemed to me that I would never meet any woman's expectations and I've disappointed enough women in that sphere for one lifetime.

Eventually, I did meet someone who was self-aware enough to realize that the relationship she wanted was very much along these lines. It wasn't on a dating app though. We've been best friends (and more) for a few years now. We only actually get together a few times a year but we have virtual "date nights" every week. We're both pretty free spirits and I think the way this relationship has grown is built very much on a mountain of mutual respect for each other's freedom. I don't think there's a lot of room for insecurity in a relationship like this though. People who are going to pursue such a thing need to be very comfortable in their own skin. I'm not sure there are a whole of people of either sex with that level of self-awareness.

father, motorcyclist, old retired guy who’s just a little lost on a blue marble corkscrewing its way to oblivion

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