I hear echoes of my past relationships. And yet, I gave love, and received love. But something wasn’t right and in both cases the women didn’t get what they needed from me. The relationships ended and I’m pretty sure both women could write much of what you wrote. I was married for almost 20 years, until my wife died. I know how to love. But maybe only that woman?
Love is complicated and it’s really, really hard to give someone exactly what they need even when you think that’s what you’re doing.
I hope you find the one who can fill that space for you. Everyone deserves a real love.