I hope you find it. I really do. There’s nothing like it. I had it, for 20+ years. It wasn’t the crazy earth-shattering love I’ve known since then. It was much more of a deep, slow burn. The unequivocal trust that someone has your back. Truly a love to last a lifetime. I don’t know how rare it is because I had the good fortune to find it in only my second real relationship. But, I haven’t found anyone since who gave me that deep honest “I love you” feeling. Not one that felt completely trustworthy anyway.
All that said, I’m living in the world my wife left for me. Her gift to me. The chance to know what it’s like to be single. It’s not better. It’s different and it’s something I think is valuable to me, at least right now. Moreso because I know “real” couplehood. The truth is though, I hope to find it again.