I’m sure it’s different for everyone in whatever situation they find themselves. In my case, it turned out that I just wasn’t being heard (and yes, I’ve been on both sides of that fence too). Not that I wasn’t trying to communicate. In the latest iteration, I think she finally understood. And both hearts were broken.

But yea, I can be accused of not fully grasping the extent of the other person’s feelings in a relationship. I kinda think nobody can. But if she’s not “getting” what I’m trying to say, then there’s a fundamental breakdown in communication. The introverted person will have played every single scenario out in their head many, many times. Yes, it can look like they’ve decided without much effort at resolution. But unless something pops up that they’ve never even considered, it’s gonna be hard to convince them they’re wrong. I’ve found that in most situations, in relationships and in life in general, a decision has been made long before any kind of in-depth communication takes place. And that’s unfortunate, especially in romantic relationships but nevertheless, it’s true.

I’m not trying to excuse anyone’s bad behavior. Hearts are broken all the time. It never feels good to be on either side of that (at least not in my experience). I’ve been the one hearing the bad news exactly the same number of times that I’ve ended relationships. Somebody, usually everybody, suffers. It doesn’t really matter how they end. It always sucks.

But I agree with you on one very important point…. We should all be kinder, especially to the ones we love.

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father, motorcyclist, old retired guy who’s just a little lost on a blue marble corkscrewing its way to oblivion

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