Don’t hate me
Although I might hate myself. Just a little bit. Or maybe a whole lot. But the truth is, I’m madly in love with you. But that’s very much at odds with who, and what, I want to be. In this lifetime.
Time is running out.
Something is telling me I have these five years to learn to be me. If I choose the wrong path, I won’t get another chance. I may not have another chance with you either. So, it’s a risk. Be me and lose out on possibly the most amazing love story ever? Or give in to desire and lose myself?
The answer is clear to me. I must pursue that which makes me whole. Because, while loving you is important to me, becoming whole is more important. A true love will not be denied, although it may be delayed. And to be in love as less than the whole me is to give to you less than you deserve.
I wouldn’t dream of asking you to wait. Who knows, the whole me might not even recognize you. But I believe, if it’s meant to be, there’s nothing in the universe that can prevent it from happening. That’s why I leave, heavy of heart but confident in the path before me.
We have eternity. And we will meet again.