So much here to like. And so much that meshes with my own experience as a 55 year old man.
There are really only two points I’d like to make:
Expectations. They’re all unreasonable, until they’re clearly stated. It’s all quicksand until that point. Most people don’t even realize what expectations they have of their partner until they fail to meet them. Women often have a certain set of expectations of men. And men usually have a completely different set of expectations of women. For some reason, we dance around and never quite get around to clearly stating them to each other until the SHTF. Maturity usually changes those expectations. ‘Course it can also cause one to realize that maybe they’re capable of giving themselves all those things they were looking for in a relationship. Don’t ask me how I know this….
Making someone happy, just like “giving” someone an orgasm, is absolutely impossible. The best anyone can do is to enthusiastically assist their partner in a mutual effort. To me, in both cases, at least half the fun is helping your partner towards the goal. But maybe that’s just how I’m wired. Besides, good sex is at least as much a mental exercise as a physical one. Same goes for happiness.
I don’t date anymore. I’m living my life on my own terms. Letting the people I love know how I feel and leaving the rest to fate. Anything else just seems a waste of time to me.