“ Uhhh, die in a fire?”

Perfect!

Look, I’ve fucked up. I’ve apologized (no, I’ve never cheated).

Here’s what it means to me:

I know things didn’t turn out the way you would have liked and I’m very sorry for that. I don’t expect to be forgiven. I apologized because I ACCEPT THAT IT’S MY FAULT and I realize I need to own it. You’re under no obligation to forgive me. Frankly, you don’t even need to accept my apology. Whether you can do that or not is up to you. It would be very generous of you but I have no right to expect it. NOT. AT. ALL. And even if you do accept the apology, it doesn’t mean anything is forgiven. Acceptance is not equal to forgiveness either. Once you fuck up, there are a lot of hoops to go through for forgiveness. If that’s what you’re looking for, expect to pay a price at least equal to the digression for which you are apologizing.