I caught myself wondering
I went for a walk this morning. I was looking for something to write about. I kinda feel like my voice has been slipping lately and I wanted to get it back. A whole slew of ideas bubbled around in my braincase. Not too many that jumped out and said: “put me on the interwebs!”.
So I’m asking myself why?
Why write at all? It’s not like this was something I felt compelled to do, say a year ago. I sort of drifted into it after going on a date back in February. A date that I chalk up as a huge mistake. I hope she forgives me. I was as surprised as she at the outcome.
The one thing it did give me was a raw reflection of my own emotions. So I showed them to the world:
Grief is a rutted road in upstate New York
The world as I knew it came to a crashing halt on October 17, 2006.
It’s not the best piece of writing I’ve ever done, but it’s about as real as life gets. And I found it seemed to let a little of the pressure off.
So I wrote again, a little fluffier piece. No doubt about it, I was talking to myself:
Cut yourself a break
There’s a lot of self-help out there. Manifest your dreams! Radiate abundance and you shall receive the gifts of the…
Now, this isn’t going to be a list of all the old shit I’ve posted on Medium. Not that it would be a bad idea to do that but it turns out my voice is in those two pieces.
My core belief is that life is a complicated balancing act of hope and despair. You could call it good and evil, but I ran away from my Roman Catholic upbringing long ago. I don’t need to carry that kind of guilt around anymore.
It’s easy to fall into a black pit of oblivion (I do it rather often). Bad shit happens every day. But there’s always a gift in all that darkness (I wrote about that too, right here). And that’s the voice I’m trying to project. At least for now.
I’m also getting old. It’s my firm belief that we need to pass on what knowledge we gain in this life to the younger generations. Otherwise, we’ll never evolve as a species. Mentoring isn’t my thing. But I can write. And this new medium, no pun intended, gives us introverts an amazing new way to pass on our knowledge.
So that’s why I write.
Thank you for reading.