You shouldn’t have kids. That’s not a judgement. It’s not a criticism either. I could have gone either way. But my wife WANTED kids. It was a driving force in her life. Not for of any of the reasons you list. Just because that’s what she wanted, PERIOD. And I would have given her ANYTHING she wanted, if it were in my power to do so. I love my kids. But I loved her in a way that can’t really be quantified. In my opinion, the woman decides if kids are a priority. The man she chooses can decide if that’s okay with him, or not. That’s the limit of his choice. I’m okay with that. Even though I had to finish raising them alone. The love I had for her was transferred to them, and added to what I already had for them, when she died. That’s as it should be, in my opinion. I have no regrets. The choice is yours, as a woman, and nobody else’s.